Tuesday, July 26, 2011

How-To: Get What You Want

I haven't yet been faced with any "you lucky bastard" to my face, but I've got some second-hand. And some bemused bewilderment, and abject confusion first-hand. I imagine at least some will presume I walk all over Anna or some such to get to be so lucky.

In reality, it's much simpler than that.

It's patience.

All that we now have, we've come at by talking things through followed by patiently waiting out our comfort to catch up. Some steps have come quick, and some have come slow, and some are still way out there somewhere.

And perhaps that's the best advice I could ever give on how to get what you want. First you talk about it or ask for it. And then you wait for reality to catch up.

And that's really all you can do, because trying to push and prod it along is a surefire way to risk your relationship. The quickest way to turn little insecurities and worries into outright terror, resentment and heartbreak, is to make your partner feel like they don't have a choice in the matter. As if, because they've done this much already, now the only move permitted is to go there next.

Relationships are not a game of chess. And if you treat it like one, you don't deserve to have one.

And I'm really not troubled by the infrequent need for adjusting the pace or direction. I sometimes have to remind Anna that this journey is one we're all on together. And if one of us needs some time along the way, then there's nothing better than to admire the scenery and all that we've achieved.

And if/when necessary I'll remind Delilah too.

Now let me go enjoy being around them some more... some things are their own reward.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Step Inside My Head

I'm not sure anyone has noticed, but I have not been writing so much lately. Arthur has noticed and has been gently encouraging me to get in here and pen a fantasy, or tell the world about coming out about our new relationship structure to my family, but I just can't seem to do it. I have post stubs and writing prompts everywhere yet for some utterly frustrating reason the final pieces just will not flow.

So this is a post about not posting, and all the rubbish and waffle that is getting in the way of blogging, fucking, loving, and being me. It will be sulky and whiny and woe-is-me, so if you are delicate today, shoo.

Time to be really honest then, I suppose. I feel like a bit of a fraud.

I think it is fair now, after a year, to call myself a sex blogger. In my mind, sex bloggers are strong people who call a cock a cock, jam all sorts of body-safe items in orifices, and generally have a lot of fun with their bodies.

I don't really like my body all that much. I know there will be people out there groaning and waggling their fists at their screens, but there you go. I don't. My weekly photos are getting harder and harder to take because it is getting harder and harder for me to see anything worth photographing. I am embarrassed by the way it moves when I walk, the way my skin stretches into dense tartan patterns on my thighs, the way I melt into a flesh puddle when I lay down. It wouldn't be so bad if my body functioned well, but it can't seem to come to the party there either. It isn't doing so bad, I suppose. It walks and talks and thinks pretty well, but I would really like just that little bit more, you know? I want less pain. I want joints that don't give out at inopportune moments. It would also be nice if my vagina did not clamp itself shut at the precise moment I want it to be available for sex. It is one hell of a headfuck to know that your body actively resists accepting cock. Or toys. Or fingers. It isn't lubrication or arousal or any of those things, it is just being goddamn stubborn.

I'm not really sure how I feel about cock these days either, just while we are on the subject. I love the thought of cock. I love the feel of soft skin and turgid flesh running under my fingers. I love that soft pop as the head bounces free of my mouth. Those things I like. I'm not sure I like images of erect penises and, I honestly cannot believe I'm writing this, I'm not sure I like sex.

A sex blogger who umms and arrs about liking sex? Seriously, what the fuck?

I can almost feel my sexy lady stock plummeting as I type. Sex is fun, right? I mean, it should be, and I know other people really like it, but I'm not sure I do. I like the closeness and the intimacy, but the actual act I could take or leave. I'm pretty convinced I'm not all that crash hot at it. I used to feel more able to get away with being hesitant & awkward because I was young, attractive, & inexperienced. Now, not so much. I get the basics - part A, slot B, in, out, etc - but beyond that I'm at a bit of a loss. I have very few notches in the bed post, so to speak, so I have no idea where I fit in the ladder of sex skills. This wouldn't bother me so much in a more traditional relationship because the only thing I'd need to think about is pleasing Arthur. Now I need to think about pleasing Arthur, pleasing Delilah, pleasing Arthur and Delilah, & generally satisfying anyone else who happens into our little playdates.

On the topic of pleasing, I don't seem to be all that forthcoming with the orgasms myself. For years I couldn't cum at all, and then I got a vibrator for my birthday and found that I could. Marvellous. What I can't seem to do is achieve this height of ecstasy with anyone else around. Well, once. Good, but not really statistically significant, so lets just say that I can't. I can't even manage by myself with a toy if there is someone in the room. It is so incredibly frustrating, and not just for me. Some days I see Arthur or Delilah try, see their faces almost begging for my body to let go and, as much as my heart almost bursts with love and admiration, I just want to run away. I want to take this misbehaving body far away so that it can't make anyone feel disappointed or sad.

I can't really run away from myself though.

So there you go. Honest. I'm a big sooky fraidycat who may or may not like sex and/or penises, has incredible difficulty orgasming and doesn't much like her body right now.

I'm not really sure what to do with all of that.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


I love going to the gym; what it does for my health and shape, discreetly admiring attractive girls in the class with me, even the weariness afterwards makes me feel satisfied.

I also love sex; how it makes me and my partners feel, overtly admiring gorgeous curves as slippery skin slides on/in/over slippery skin, even the bounding energy afterwards makes me feel satisfied.

Tonight I was planning on a little bit of both, but my Body Pump class last night has taken a toll. Not so much that I can't do either, but if I do one, then the other will have to defer. My legs are a little cramped and a Body Attack class would just wreck them altogether in that wonderful way.

So, what do I do?

I guess the girls will just have to make do without my ogling tonight...

...tonight I stay right here with Anna and Delilah.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Wanton Wednesday - Achey Breaky

I would like you all to know that I am typing with my left hand. Pecking at the keyboard and watching my fingers like a hawk to make sure they land in the right place.

Doctor says so. Doctor say two weeks rest. Doctor is a cruel man.

No typing, no MMOs, no knitting or sewing, no fiddly manicures and no masturbating! I mean, I could use my left but I might take an eye out or something. Not worth the drama of explaining that your brand new shiner came from an awkwardly weilded over-lubed jiggling plastic phallus and not your muscled man. No, two weeks rest. I'm being good.

I *may* be spending a lot of time naked and writhing around on crisp cool sheets, but Doctor never said anything about that. ;)

Want to see some uninjured people who could probably do much naughtier things than me? Clicky clicky!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Australian Classification - Call To Action

Are you an Australian? Do you know any Australians? Would you like to make an impact on the political process surrounding the classification of media, art, games, and the threatened filtering of the internet?

You're in luck. You can do all those things. And it's not nearly as hard as the official forms try to make it look, so let me give you a hand in understanding why this is important and how to contribute your objections/suggestions to the process without breaking a sweat (it'll take no more time than you'll spend reading this post).

What is going on? Why does it matter?

The Australian Law Review Commission is currently taking submissions regarding the Australian classification system. Officially, it is about those little labels on the DVDs, CDs and computer games you buy, that tell what ages the content is deemed appropriate for.

But once you actually read the questions on the submission form, it becomes clear that the net is being cast quite a lot wider than that. It is about banning materials deemed undesirable. It is about filtering the internet. It is about censorship.

So far, the most motivated group of society has been those that wish to censor our media and shackle our internet. Don't let their submissions overwhelm the commission and make it seem like this is a one-sided issue. It really doesn't need to take more than a few minutes to make a submission, even though the form looks like it was designed to make the process look much more complicated than it actually is.

Let me try to walk you through it.

How to fill out the form

First of all, create an account on the ALRC website. Submissions made without an account may not get registered.

Once you have an account, you can open up the online submission form. Note that this form requires some personal details. It is important that you fill these out truthfully; fake submissions are unlikely to get taken seriously. You can however check the box to make a confidential submission in which case it does not show up on the list of submissions already received.

Don't faint over the long list of questions; you don't have to fill them out, and the topics they cover can be summarised by the following list:
  • Internet filtering (Q3, 5, 10-13, 15-17, 24, 25)
  • Censorship (Q5, 7, 10, 14, 24, 25)
  • Lacking R18 rating for computer games (Q3, 5, 14, 21, 22)
  • Harmonisation of the classification system across all media and jurisdictions
Rather than worry about filling out all the questions (unless you actually want to), go straight to the "Other Comments" box at the bottom of the form.

For extra impact, start your comment with a little explanation of your interest in this discussion "I'm 24, and an avid consumer of porn" or "I'm 18 and I like graphic computer games" or "I'm 30 and I work in IT, and I know a thing or two about how the internet works" or "I'm 50 and an artist, and I don't like the idea of censorship on explicit art". This will put your concerns in context.

Then write about what concerns you about all this. You don't need to write a long essay. Just a paragraph or two. Even a single sentence. The fact that you write your own concerns in your own words, rather than copy/pasting a pre-made answer by someone else will have the biggest impact on the process.

Take Action Now

So, first and foremost, go register and fill out the survey, just write a couple of paragraphs, or just one, or even a single sentence. Every personal opinion submitted helps more than 10,000 signatures would.

Okay, so have you filled it out? Yes? Good. The next thing you can do is forward this post before the 15th of July 2011, to all your family, friends and acquaintances. Link here, or copy/paste the content (you have my explicit permission). Re-blog it on your own site. Encourage anyone you know to make their voice heard.

And after all that, go sit back, relax and have a nice drink. And bask in the awesomeness and smug superiority of having done something about it.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

e[lust] edition #27

Photo courtesy of A Bedroom Blog

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOU - What ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.

Performances - So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.

10 reasons why I shouldn't have had sex, but did anyway - I’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Energy Orgasms - There is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A response to: #Slutwalk will not show our daughters how to get respect
Accidents Happen
All the Time in the World
Dear Jane: How Do I Gain Sensitivity Back After Masturbating Too Much?
Friday Flix: 10 Things We Would Like to Say
Hole. Confession #573
Look at me (please)
Lusting After Sexually Confident Women and HNT
Oh Really?
Sex Toy Collecting
Why Can't I Orgasm?

Kink & Fetish

5 Kinky Toys from the Restaurant Supply Store
A Piece of Meat
Being a Domme, Alone
Daddy's Good Girl
Emotional Masochism
Fucktoy Friday: Urethra Play
Good Morning
Inexorable Love
More Adventures in Chastity
New figure nudes

Erotic Writing

Continentally Close
First Memory of Sex with Nicole
Far From the Madding Crowd
First kiss
green candle wax
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Lusty Lips
My first swinging experience
Seducing my Professor
sexy bitch/sexy beast
Strapping On For the First Time
seminar slut
To seduce you
The Minotaur
Twisted Words
The Heist

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Gender Celebration Blog Carnival – A Call for Submissions
Marilyn Monroe: A Sex Goddess Searches For Her Elusive Orgasm