Monday, February 28, 2011

Change of Mind

I recently discovered an interesting change in the way I think. Where in the past I'd spot a cute girl and have a brief "I'd do her"-style thought flash through my head, these days I take a few more moments to admire the view and then I think "I wonder if she'd be interested".

It wasn't a change I was expecting or chasing. But it's interesting how the change in our relationship, the opening up of other possibilities, has relaxed me into it naturally. And relaxing it is... allowing myself to ponder possibilities like that has made me feel even more like it's okay to share whatever is on my mind.

It is strange to think that even within the confines of my own head I was holding back. Maybe this is a self-preservation mechanism to hide what isn't socially acceptable? Whatever it is though, I'm glad to be rid of it.

And even if in itself, it isn't going to make me brave enough to start inviting random cute girls into our bedroom... it definitely is adding a lot of variety to my fantasies. And that also is nothing to complain about.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Booked Solid

Well, we have an awesomely busy weekend in progress. Originally it was going to be mostly busy, but today got an added dose of awesome injected into it due to Delilah being around. And the sun is out... and there will be a pool, and drinks and snacks.

What that does mean is that I probably won't get around to a proper new post until at least Sunday evening. I have a few ideas though, and I'm sure I'll be able to pull one of them together for you all. I'll be really agonising over not posting while sipping my Smirnoff mixers. Promise!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Overdue

We were in the shower together tonight, Anna and I. And the topic of when we last had intercourse came up. See, Anna has been a bit under-the-weather for a while and it has been getting in our way... as in, none this month so far in-the-way. (There has been sex, just not intercourse)

Anna: "We haven't had sex this month"
Me: *blink blink* ... "You have had sex this month... I know you have, I was right there witnessing it!"
Anna: *sheepish grin*

Still... I think I'm overdue fucking someone... hard.

Happy Endings

Guaranteed orgasms. Not your usual dinner table conversation. We don't normally discuss Thai massage ladies and the optional extras they may provide to our globetrotting friend. Tonight though, as Arthur and I chatted with a few of our mates, we just naturally happened on the topic.

"They do provide happy endings, and not just for the men, the massage ladies will do it for the women too."

I thought fast. I thought deep. I thought about the nature of commerce and goods and services and something in my mind went *bing*.

"Do they guarantee it?"

I asked the question in a very casual way, but I really wanted to know. If they fail to end your massage in a satisfactorily happy manner, can you request a refund? Would they be so skilled that they could be pretty certain of success, regardless of the sex of the client? I was intrigued.

"Er, I think with most men they could pretty much guarantee it. It's not hard. Well, it is hard, but..."

While everyone was having a bit of a giggle at this terrible but predictable pun, I saw the knowing look sneak across the face of our travelling friend. He grinned a sly grin. He knew. He's known for a while.

"I don't think she was really interested if they guaranteed it for men..."

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

e[lust] edition #23

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #24? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Roadmaps of Consent - I fucking love consent. I love safewords. I can be much more cruel, and push much harder, if I trust my partner to tell me when I go too far.

Staying Safe - One cock, from one man, missing one condom, ultimately led to my brother’s death. And that sucks.

Flying the Friendly Skies - One button on her sweater was undone, there was a rip in her hose, scratches on her boots, and her hair was carelessly pinned back with stray wisps of hair escaping. There was a curious flavor of soiling about her, something a bit dirty and unkempt.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Labels and my thoughts... - In the past year and a half I have gone from being someone that was lost, without identity that fit, rattling around inside myself to someone that has names for what they are.

~ e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

See also: Pleasurists #116 and #117 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

5 Kinky Toys from the Dollar Store
Alive in my Skin
Dacryphilia
Digitalized for Posterity
Eroti...ca
filthy...
He ripped a string of orgasms from me, and then ramped it up
Manual Dexterity
Nadia's Surprise
Orgasms, Spoons Rests, and Fishnets! (The Play Party)
Punishment, humiliation and bondage
Schoolgirl in Saturday Detention
Steeling The Show
Water torture

Erotic Writing

A Little Night Music
Afternoon darkness
Crisp White Linens
dancing with (& then kinkily fucking) the dj
In the Mirror
Lope
Morning Sex
My First Anal Sex
September 1935
Shutter
Schoolgirl Part 1
Teenage Bukkake
Transition
You're Gonna Keep My Soul

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Doggie Kind of Love
Ashamed?! Are You Kidding Me?
Giggles, Groans and Panting
I Can Imagine How You Feel
Sex As Love
6 Moves Men Need to Be Sex Gods in the Bedroom
Terminology Fundamentalism
The COME HITHER QUIVER -or- How To Squirt
This Love
What I Want

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com
Porn, degradation, and Khan Tusion
Women With Two Vaginas
Kink, virginity and big-tittied whores

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Breakages Must Be Paid For

Today I looked left and pulled a muscle in my neck. At lunchtime I noticed the ever-so-slightly tender bump of a wart forming on my finger. A while back I ended up with thrush. 4 days ago my wisdom tooth decided that it missed me and popped up to say hello, then vanished again, leaving me with one swollen gland and a ticklish cough as a parting present.

Suffice to say I am feeling quite unsexy.

It is really hard to keep your mind on all things nookie when various bits of you feel like they might fall off or seize up at any moment. It is even harder to BE sexy when you have a virus on one hand and memories of having a fungus in your fun spot*. Yeah baby, I'm a catch.

As soon as I'm up to it, I'm whisking myself off to the hairdresser and beauty salon for a bit of sprucing up. It is a rare treat and feels rather indulgent but I think it might be worth it to look and feel a bit more... me.

I'll need to paint my nails too. This whole naked fingers thing is a little weird.

*It is all better, has been for some time now, just felt the need to add it to my laundry list of body complaints :P

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Constrained Ogling

We hadn't been to our local shopping complex for some time to do people-watching. Today we had a bit of an opportunity while showing a family member around the area. As much as this made it trickier to ogle and confer with Anna, it was well worth it! I had almost forgotten how many hot and exciting girls (in various ways) wander around there.

And then we had dinner at a restaurant which was even better. Our waitress was really tall and cute. I think she probably was even a little flirty from what I could tell. Which was kinda confirmed when towards the end of our meal Anna rested her head on my shoulder and the waitress looked kinda disappointed... I could almost read "not single" scroll through her brain.

If only she realised how much more fun was on offer... *grin*

Thursday, February 17, 2011

HNT - Don't Forget the Sunscreen

For the last few weeks I have been saying that I must put up an HNT post, but for the last few weeks I've ended up faffing about and forgetting all about it. It is such a crying shame too, I have oodles of mostly-naked to share!

Does sunscreen count as clothing?



I'm rather glad that I rubbed this in. If I'd have gotten sunburned in all but that place it would have been a doozy of a thing to explain to the gawking people at the local pool.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Think We Can Do This

We count ourselves exceedingly lucky to have found Delilah. It was such a serendipitous turn of events that set us on each others' paths just at the right time in all three of our lives. But such a lucky chance encounter has had the serious down-side that it had left us uncertain whether our variety of friends-with-benefits could actually work outside this one specific unique friendship.

I believe this Friday may have given us our answer.

We were going to pick up Elsa from the train station and drive over to one of our favourite cafes for a chocolate lunch. So, the only sane thing for us to do was to prepare by grooming, shaving private areas and making sure we had nice underwear on. Okay, that makes us sound so self-confident, when in reality we were just hedging our bets against embarrassing ourselves if against the odds we ended up half-naked. We were 99% certain it was just not in the cards.

Picking her up from the station turned out to be slightly more eventful than expected. She was apologetically running a little late, and when the train she was supposed to be on arrived we were closely staring at the commuters coming past. Then I spotted a familiar face and pointed it out to Anna; "That's her, isn't it?" ... "I think so..." ... and then this Elsa-body-double confidently and purposely walked past and headed towards the elevators. "Nope, too purposeful... must be a local that just looks remarkably similar". After another few minutes all the commuters had passed, but no Elsa... and my mobile rang. After a short stroll towards the elevators we are face-to-face with the not-actually-Elsa-body-double. Nothing like a little incident to get the conversation kick-started.

As we were driving the back road to the cafe, the conversation merrily bubbling along on a range of innocuous topics, it dawns on me that perhaps driving through what looks like ever-more-deserted back-of-beyond roads may not be entirely comforting to someone you're meeting in person for the first time. If so, she wasn't showing any signs, but I really wouldn't have blamed her had she been nervous.

There is nothing quite like a chocolate lunch; there seems to be something about cake and hot chocolate that makes us feel comfortable. Combine that with a great conversation, and it must be the ideal way to get to know someone and find out how you feel about them. Since Anna and I have not yet settled on any private signals, all I had to go on at this point was my own impressions (and all good, I hasten to add).

Since everything was going so well up till that point, we offered to let her meet our "kids", which is our loving way of referring to our overly-dependent and -affectionate pets. She had a great time getting to know Anna's zoo (I cannot in good conscience take any personal responsibility). And then we ended up talking for hours more.

As time kept ticking, and the outside light started fading, I found myself wondering when Elsa would have to head off again. We had been penciled in for the day only, and I had no idea at what time the day turns into the evening exactly. Luckily then, her mobile phone intervened; first causing her plans for the evening to fall through so we didn't end up having to rush her off in a great hurry, secondly for her mother to make sure she was doing okay. I think we are now officially "The Axe Murderers" with a wink and a grin to yet another unwitting family member. In any case, Elsa ended up making us (read: buying; thanks it was delicious!) dinner, and the conversation kept flowing.

All afternoon I guess we were kinda skirting around the elephant in the room. The discussion had veered over-and-through sexual topics a few times, including obviously our blog. Again, without any agreed-upon signals there was a good chance nothing more was going to happen. Until Elsa decided to break the ice by playing with my leg... it took me a few moments to notice... but I think we can call that a sign. And not one I was going to object to in the least.

From that point it was a slow but steady escalation of touches and counter-touches. Of hinting and blatantly saying. And Elsa was immensely polite about making sure both Anna and I were fine with how we were going every step of the way. I cannot say for sure if she has played with a couple before, but if not, once again she managed to look completely confident and self-assured. I have a hard time imagining anyone feeling uncomfortable around her.

In the end, more happened than I had expected, but a bit less than you might imagine. I had the most amazing time watching Elsa explore all of Anna's body. The wonder, and the constant compliments came rolling of her tongue without any apparent thought. And once again watching Anna getting totally caught up in playing with another girl made me immensely happy. And by the looks of it it was doing wonders for Anna too. And although there was no actual intercourse, I can say without reservation that I had some pretty amazing sex myself as well. Several times, I wasn't entirely sure Elsa was getting enough attention for herself, but her radiantly happy face and voice were all I needed for reassurance. I'm not too ashamed to admit that the show had me so high-strung that I didn't last particularly long in Elsa's hands. Better luck some other time I guess.

Anna told me afterwards that she still couldn't believe how lucky she is to be allowed to do this. I cannot believe how lucky I am to be allowed to watch and participate.

As much as Anna and I wish Elsa didn't have to go home already, it was great to finally meet and click like that. And hopefully next time she's over we will have some more time available... we feel like we haven't really properly entertained her this time around. Also, as much as I had a blast, there are a few specific positions that I think she may be able to pull off *cheeky grin*, and I'd love to find out where all her buttons are.

So far we have established that she is also a lot of fun to be around, and very attractive. I don't know to what we owe such luck in both our Unicorns, but I am certainly not complaining.

So, I think we have found our answer; ... I think we can do this. I think we are certain now.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Delicious Delilah

From time to time we mention Delilah here, and I would highly recommend checking out her blog any day, since it is a nice complement to our part of the story. But, this week there is an extra special reason to go have a peek...

You want to see her, don't you? ... See her delicious curves? ... Well, this weeks' HNT shows off one of her many attractive features, so why are you still here? Go Check It Out!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Legally Offensive

Although it is not a new law, it sounds like the support from the current Attorney-General of NSW for a law that allows private schools to expel gay students was recently voiced. I am deeply disturbed by anyone in this day and age do more than just keep an embarrassed silence on something so patently stupid.

But on the other hand, I find hope in it. Because when a movement starts needing the support of law to get their ever more marginal views enforced, that's usually a sign that society has long since moved on from the issue. Not that this means we'll be in gay-topia in the near future; for one thing the recording industry has been clutching at legal straws for a decade now, but it is as inevitable as the proverbial death and taxes.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Something Elsa This Way Comes...

If all goes according to plan, tomorrow we will finally get a chance to meet Elsa face-to-face. And I'm quite excited to see what she's like in person. Granted, we've chatted from time to time since we first missed an opportunity to meet her early last year, but that isn't quite the same.

We haven't really been talking much about sex and intimate stuff; I think sub-consciously we must have been trying to avoid setting any expectations. And unfortunately she's not going to be around long enough to dig into those topics tomorrow. But I think it'll be nice to meet nonetheless and see how we all feel.

Hopefully her next visit won't be too long away if we click... even though anticipation is the most delicious torture.

A Strange Vibe

I have rather unusual dreams. Sure, I have the standard run-of-the-mill stuff like falling off buildings and being chased by bad guys, but more often than not my nocturnal mind meanders into the strange. There are usually gnomes, footballs, scenes in flickering 20's black and white, and shoes that go clip clop all by themselves. Occasionally Arthur has been a watermelon and Arthur all at once.

Even more occasionally I dream about sex.

A good sex dream is a wonderous thing, it makes my body react in ways that would normally require the most skilled touch. I can almost feel the sweat, the hot breath on my neck, the crushing body weight pinning me down *flustered* It really is marvellous.

You know what isn't marvellous? Having your mind decide that instead of that deliciously sexy scenario, it wants you to work with a large and awkwardly shaped blue vibrator. Standing. In front of an open window. Now credit where credit is due, sensation-wise it was a perfectly fine dream. The less-than-ideal part was that I was conducting a dream-review of this rather unusual (but apparently quite effective) vibrator.

It was that matte-look hard silicon in a mid-blue, and it had a glossy white domed dial on one end. Somehow, this was also a button. (If I didn't already know it was a dream, that button would have totally given the game away. Who puts buttons on the end of vibrators? I mean come on! That is just cruel.) The business end sported ripples that looked much like finger grips. It was curved like a german sausage and about ohhh, 14" long. Now I am NOT a 14" vibrator sort of person, but my dream-self managed to work it with some precision! I have to admit that I was rather impressed.

Unfortunately it was around that time that the cartoon postman walked past the window throwing large red crayons as if they were morning newspapers and I woke up.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Shower BJ

I love my Monday double gym class... a bit of strength and a bit of flexibility. And it turns my legs completely into jelly. When I got home I had to tell Anna that it was either then or not tonight, because once the wobbles set in there's just no further standing in me.

She decided she'd give me a shower. So I got my back scrubbed... and my chest... and then she kneeled and made my legs buckle altogether. The rest of this evening I've been sitting down with some small trips to the kitchen to stretch my legs.

I'll sleep very well tonight.

Macho Mistake

Men and women try to impress each other very differently at the gym. The bigger the numbers on the weights or the deeper the grunting and groaning, the more impressive the guys seem to feel. On the other hand the women seem to try and impress by how effortless they can make everything look.

Sadly this always ends badly for the men... they look in on a class once, decide that everyone is clearly using easy weights... they join the next class and over-estimate their own capabilities... and then the women just end up silently laughing their assess off at them.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Terminology Fundamentalism

About a week ago, I read an article on The Swingset about Evolution - Open Marriage, Swinging & Polyamory. It made me reflect on how Anna and I are doing with our non-monogamous "Lifestyle" and in a larger sense the fragmentation among non-monogamists.

There is something inherently hypocritical about in-fighting over who is "doing it the best way" in a community that originated in an escape from a one-size-fits-all monogamous philosophy. I am not quite sure though that I agree with Cooper that they should organise so that they can stand strong against their "common enemy", the monogamists. That's like saying Christians and Muslims should stop their bickering so they can face their common enemy the atheists. It isn't elevating anyone, it's just changing the battle.

Surely we should all be making the argument together that everyone should feel free to choose to fill-in their relationships in whatever way suits them best. And in that context monogamy is a valid choice as well. And so is every combination of elements that doesn't even have a proper name.

Which brings me to my other point. I have absolutely no idea what we ought to call ourselves. There is a certain appeal in being part of a closed "tribe", but does that mean we have to call ourselves Polyamorous? I don't think so! Are we swingers? Definitely not! Heck, we don't even have an open relationship, because we don't go on dates without each other. We don't quite fit in any of these groups, but we kinda overlap them in places. I'm sure there are people for whom the pre-made sweaters are a perfect fit, but all of them chafe us in one way or another.

The solution isn't to keep dividing and specialising further and further. We don't need a new movement of people that love the people they sleep with, but don't feel the need to turn it into a full relationship. That way madness lies... and further fragmentation... and further in-fighting over who is wrong and who is right... and our non-monogamous landscape would become littered with so much specialist terminology that we won't even understand each other anymore.

I think the problem with ill-fitting philosophies is that it turns a lot of people away from non-monogamy when they could have found something that works for them. I believe the solution is to look for the greater whole rather than cutting out ever smaller portions for ourselves. The one thing that unifies everybody in the non-monogamous community is that they have made a conscious choice to live their lives a specific way. And there is no reason that couldn't unify us with monogamists as well. And within that larger whole, who cares if we have a fancy word for our little corner of the playground... we can respect our neighbors for their own choices and interact with them when our games allow for it. And otherwise we give everyone the dignity of their own choices.

That would be a movement I can get behind. That would be something I'd volunteer to promote. That's something we should be able to proclaim in any company, because it ought to be the least controversial position when push comes to shove... your choice might not be for me, but if it doesn't affect me, who am I to argue?

I love the choices we have made so far. And I do not feel any need to slap a label on it. It is what it is, and it's wonderful in its own right.


If you are new to this blog and would like to read some more, I would suggest the following recent(-ish) posts in particular as a starting point:
There is plenty more on a variety of topics, including our personal lives, so by all means have a browse around.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Bad Timing

Does anyone else ever have runs of bad timing? We seem to have perfected bad timing. Between Anna's occasional lack of spoons, various illnesses alternating between the two of us, and just general exhaustion, sometimes we have a lot of trouble finding time where we are both in the mood.

I could try to calculate what the longest run of bad luck we've had is, but I'm sure it would just depress me. Maybe that's a potential benefit of add-on friends-with-benefits? The ability to have spares around for Anna when I'm indisposed, and vice versa? Not sure we're quite ready for advanced applications like that though.