How-To: Get What You Want

I haven't yet been faced with any "you lucky bastard" to my face, but I've got some second-hand. And some bemused bewilderment, and abject confusion first-hand. I imagine at least some will presume I walk all over Anna or some such to get to be so lucky.

In reality, it's much simpler than that.

It's patience.

All that we now have, we've come at by talking things through followed by patiently waiting out our comfort to catch up. Some steps have come quick, and some have come slow, and some are still way out there somewhere.

And perhaps that's the best advice I could ever give on how to get what you want. First you talk about it or ask for it. And then you wait for reality to catch up.

And that's really all you can do, because trying to push and prod it along is a surefire way to risk your relationship. The quickest way to turn little insecurities and worries into outright terror, resentment and heartbreak, is to make your partner feel like they don't have a choice in the matter. As if, because they've done this much already, now the only move permitted is to go there next.

Relationships are not a game of chess. And if you treat it like one, you don't deserve to have one.

And I'm really not troubled by the infrequent need for adjusting the pace or direction. I sometimes have to remind Anna that this journey is one we're all on together. And if one of us needs some time along the way, then there's nothing better than to admire the scenery and all that we've achieved.

And if/when necessary I'll remind Delilah too.

Now let me go enjoy being around them some more... some things are their own reward.