Saturday, June 25, 2011

Evolution

So much has changed.

When we first met Delilah, our intent was to make a new friend. Someone that knew us primarily as a couple trying a path infrequently traveled. Someone we wouldn't have to explain this part of our life to.

Privately Anna and I exchanged many hushed discussions in bed late at night. How much we were attracted to her. How worried we were of ruining the friendship. How we didn't want to steer her in a direction of our choosing over her own. Yet, as it https://www.sex-sofa.com/male-sex-toy turned out, she wasn't averse to the idea of some experimentation. We couldn't have been more thrilled and terrified with the unknown before us.

But soon we discovered that there was far less to fear than we had imagined. Careful step after careful step, we discovered together that this didn't have to feel awkward, or strange. And we changed again, because now we had ourselves a regular lover.

This is where we would have originally said our journey would have ended. A mighty feat to get there in less than a year. And then something unexpected happened. We discovered sex-sofa.com/vibrating-butt-plug there was more in our hearts than we dared readily admit. We had never discussed this. We had assumed this was a barrier we couldn't cross... but here we found ourselves, already on the other side before we even knew it. We had a girlfriend.

I feel amazingly lucky that Delilah has been interested in following us along this evolutionary path. Where we are now, is by no means where any of us set out to be at the start of this journey. We got somewhere better without even trying.

Communication is still the key to everything. And even more so with the ever-changing perspective of what we three are to each other. I had been too absorbed to notice that especially after the last unexpected evolution, my attitude was getting out-of-sync with reality. I had been keeping things to myself that I would solo flesh never have kept from a girlfriend. Something in my mind had not yet adjusted to the new reality.

A serious relationship; ... it may take me some effort to bring communication to that next level, and there may be some compromises like in any relationship... but on the other hand we all get twice the love and affection whenever we need it. And when one of us is sick or needs support, there'll be two pairs of loving hands to guide the way.

I am as always happy, enthusiastic and optimistic. About both the present, and the future.

I love my life.

5 comments:

said...

But soon we discovered that there was far less to fear than we had imagined. Careful step after careful step, we discovered together that this didn't have to feel awkward, or strange. And we changed again, because now we had ourselves a regular lover.

I really identify with this part. I had a lot of fears too, before my husband and I entered into the world of nonmonogamy.

In theory, it's terrifying. In practice, for us, there's really a lot less drama than I ever imagined. A cautious, go-slow, attentive approach helped.

said...

We purposely set out to stay a few steps behind what we *thought* we were comfortable with, and that really helped make it effortless I think.

It also means you get to think about the next few steps for a while before you take them.

I'm glad you had as much success as we did. It's really the best thing ever to discover new possibilities within yourself.

- Arthur

said...

One of the most interesting issues for me is how other people have reacted. I have a husband and a girlfriend. In the circles I travel in, the bisexuality is an eyeblink, but the nonmonogamy is a real showstopper -- people react with a kind of delighted, confused, wait, is this threat or menace but wait there's sex!! kind of reaction.

This is amplified because my husband and I kind of look like an Ozzie and Harriet couple -- we have two children, a dog, and an honest-to-god literal white picket fence.

said...

I think that there are any circles where bisexuality is an eyeblink is a promising start. Sooner or later, non-monogamy will end in that same basket once society gets comfortable with the idea it does not have to imply cheating or broken hearts.

And yay for a white picket fence! Now, be honest... did you get the house on purpose to mess with the stereotype? ;)

- Arthur

said...

Nooo! I moved into Bryce's house before we married; I didn't do the picking. I'm actually kind of stunned that I ended up with so many of the trappings of a very "normal" life.

What's funny is that in professional circles, people tend to make a lot of the "oh, look, wife and mother who does high-tech stuff!" Little do they know *chuckle*

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