Dialogue: The Past Year

Art: Although we haven't quite been blogging for a year yet, NYE seemed the perfect time to just talk about what we've been up to so far.

Anna: A lot! This year seems so incredibly full of newness!

Art: From your perspective, what were the highs and lows so far? ... unless that's going to turn into a huge downer ;)

Anna: Well there are many many highs, but holy crap I kissed a girl! Lots! I know it is a small thing but it is something that has been rolling around in my mind for years and years and it was so much more...just more than I imagined.

Anna: The lows, well I suppose there were far less bad things than good things. I did not enjoy telling people we weren't interested in them, that was a bit sad.

Art: Oh, that was on the dating site, wasn't it? ... Or did we reject someone else I didn't know about? :)

Anna: That was the dating site. She was very pretty and all but just not for me. I'm not really sure I'm a dating site kind of girl, it has some weird pre-performance anxiety effect on me. And half of them don't even try to spell correctly...

Art: Yeah... that's the internet for 'ya I think... perhaps they reckon that with l33t-sp34k etc., it just doesn't matter? Dunno. It's a little distracting, by the same token I worry slightly that there might be really wonderful people out there that just spell like that 'cause, and we'll never talk to them as a result.

Anna: True enough. I know it is a silly thing to judge someone on, but when all you have is a photo and a text blurb I don't really have too many other options. I'd much prefer to meet people the old fashioned way anyway, though sadly they don't always have their little bi/curious signs around their neck. Speaking of, when do I get my little sign so other people can recognise me? I've been such a good girl!

Art: Ah, good point... you need that thumb-ring I promised, hey? ;) ... Even though that's not really a "signal", but if you want it, I promised

Anna: Maybe I should just get a shirt that says "come get me!" or something on the front. That is another good thing about this year, I've gotten a fair bit braver. There have been a few times where I have not been my regular submissive self and it has been so much fun!

Art: I think I have an idea of what to get you, but you'll have to just wait and see I guess ;)

Art: For my part I've really been enjoying the actual threesome activity and playing with Delilah of course, but what I've also enjoyed is how easy it has gotten to get through the issues when they crop up. I think we still let the occasional thing sit inside our head longer than we should, but all-in-all it's fairly easy to maintain.

Art: For the worst part... that *is* tough isn't it? ... Can I cop out, and nominate the fact we haven't managed to meet up with Elsa or Fleur yet? I know that's not really a bad thing, but it would have been funner had we managed.

Anna: True, and even though we haven't met them it has still been fun talking to them.

Anna: There are more balls in the air now, more potential for hurt or heartache, and while that isn't necessarily a bad thing it is a new thing that we need to learn about. When you think about it that way, going a bit slowly isn't a bad thing.

Art: Oh, I'm perfectly fine with that... I had to pick something, and that's the best I could come up with

Art: Is there anything else you think you'd like to remark on about the past year?

Anna: I think it is a damn good year when both of us had to think very hard to find a low point. We've been lucky to find some supportive people [and NOW I've remembered the nasty low point with the less-than-supportive

Anna: I think it is a damn good year when both of us had to think very hard to find a low point. We've been lucky to find some lovely supportive people who have let us talk at them or just let the whole thing seem entirely normal.

Art: I think that's an excellent sentiment to end 2010 on... enjoy the food and the fireworks everyone... and don't do anything you'll regret later. See you next year!

Anna: Bye! :)

HNT - Our New Unicorn

There is an old saying about like attracting like, or something like that. You have a cat, you get more cats and so on. I didn't expect this to mean we would get an increase in our local unicorn population. Delilah arrived the other day looking incredibly chuffed with herself, and rightly so! Look who she brought along with her!

Isn't he gorgeous? Strike a pose, little unicorn! Who's a sexy little spiked pony? *scratches behind ears* We decided that regardless of the pretty pink, this little equine is most definitely a boy. He just looks so... manly.

He also likes to take things in the rear. At the moment he's got a bottle of pretty sparkly nail polish and a couple of other random bits and bobs. Not exactly bodysafe or even comfortable, but he doesn't seem to be complaining.
And yes, I know that a fully naked unicorn is not a half nekkid person, but it is incredibly cute and it is one of the few times you'll ever get to see a full body shot on this here blog, so live it up ;)

Fatigue Fuckery

So the silly season is almost over, and with it goes most of my oomph. I've spent so much time and energy getting ready for everything that I have managed to kick up a handful of chronic health conditions that are not helping much with feeling that festive spirit. I've spent the better part of my day in bed, and not in the glamorous tart sort of way. Every time I've stood up, my body has seriously considered plumetting to the floor. I've hardly felt like any sort of food, and my legs could almost pass as creatures of the savannah. I'm not a well little girl right now. Things like standing, eating, and personal grooming have had to take a back seat.

Sadly, so has sex.

The problem isn't so much that I'm not interested, I am, it just isn't high on my daily to-do list right now. Even when it is, I'm hardly up to hanging from the rafters. I feel bad for Arthur too, doing all the work (and I do mean ALL the work) can't be much fun for him. There is also a very good chance that afterwards I'll just roll over and go to sleep. Not terribly good and giving of me, is it?

It is not easy to have a great sexual relationship when there are chronic health issues at play. It is hard for me knowing that I'm the one that has brought this into our relationship. It is hard on Arthur too, having to see me like this and pick up the slack when I have to let everything go. Keeping the intimacy alive through all of the other goings on can be difficult. I'm perfectly at ease with a cuddle or a softly held hand, a kiss on the head or a beautiful word in my ear, but I'm not sure that is enough to keep Arthur ticking over. It is hard enough wondering if you are anywhere near enough for your partner, but knowing that you can be little more than a lick and a promise for your partner is the absolute pits.

Still, there is little that can be done about things other than be kind to each other and wait for the worst of it to pass. It is a feeling of such powerlessness, but not hopelessness. It WILL pass.

And then we'll fuck like bunnies.

Fantasy: Brand New Day

She tries to slip out quietly, but the movement rocks the bed and wakes me. She turns to look, but I pretend to still be asleep. As she continues to walk down the hallway to the bathroom I admire how her night shirt clings to her waist and her hips. Little folds in the material curl around her curves.

She flicks the bathroom door after she enters. It almost closes, but not quite. Still need to get that hinge fixed. Glad I didn't yet. I can see her move through the gap that is left open. I hear her shirt rustle over her head and onto the tiles. Then a big yawn.

Carefully I slip out of bed and sneak up to the door. I carefully stay out of the light that falls out of the door. When I get close enough I can see her stepping out of her underwear, exposing endless stretches of soft skin. Curves now covered with goosebumps in the cold morning air coming into the window. My eyes slide along the edge of her foot, along her legs and around her waist.

In a split moment I decide not to watch any longer. I carefully lift my underwear over my erection and drop them onto the floor as I push into the bathroom door. She is still standing at the bathroom sink looking in the mirror, a little gasp of surprise as her eyes lock on my face, then another gasp as they lock down onto my cock.

As I cover the distance towards her she leans over the sink and sticks her ass towards me, an impish grin on her face. One hand has disappeared to her clit quickly getting herself ready. I grab her hips and grind into her ass, locking eyes, waiting for the okay.

A greedy smile covers her face and a quick nod in my direction. I back my hips off and manipulate my tip to her waiting lips. Very wet. But I hold for a moment at the point just shy of the pressure giving way; anticipating. A few seconds that last forever.

Then a little more pressure and I slide all the way in. I move in and out slowly, feeling my way and adjusting the grip of my hands to find leverage on her hips. When I find a good grip I find her eyes again, still transfixed on me.

I start working in and out vigorously. At the end of each stroke I pull a little firmer, a little deeper. Her breathing becomes sighs, her sighs become pants and panting turns into moaning long before I come.

I relish looking at her face, at the reaction to every adjustment I make, at the ecstasy building. Little rivulets meander along my legs, evidence of her arousal. My mind turns one-track-animal and with smooth sinuous movements I work myself into an orgasm.

When I come back to the world I ask if I can help her over the top, but she shakes her head. She looks drained. I have no idea whether she did or didn't, but all she seems to want to do now is get into the shower where we wash ourselves off each other.

Ready for a brand new day.

Hot on the Web - Singles

The day after XMAS is the ideal day for lounging and laziness. Still filled with turkey, chocolate and alcohol. A little groggy. A little blissed out.

Image via Art-or-Porn

What better way to spend such a day than to lie in bed naked and not go anywhere all day. Maybe tomorrow I will have the energy to write something interesting for you all again. In the mean time I suggest you all follow my lead and get back into bed.

Regular Checks

On this most peaceful day of the year, I'd like to wish everyone the happiest, healthiest and longest life possible.

And then, I'd like to ask everyone a question... do you get tested for STIs? Regularly?

Wouldn't it be great if everyones answer was "yes" and "every six months"? But I bet you it isn't (although I think our readership might be closer to 100% than the population as a whole).

We weren't getting tested either until we decided we should make this part of our routine when embarking on this adventure we are on. But really, we should have been doing it all along.

I know there are reasons some people rightfully feel they don't need to get tested. Monogamous relationships aren't likely to have STIs just randomly introduced into them... although even if a relationship is perfectly and truthfully monogamous, it isn't completely impossible to pick up certain STIs in other ways. But that's slightly off the point. (Even then though... what is the harm to get checked anyway?)

I have been thinking about how much care most of us take in other parts of our lives... to get our teeth checked every six months, just in case we are developing a cavity. Or regular check-ups for cervical cancer... or breast cancer... and so on.

It seems a little sad that we take our sexual health less seriously than our teeth. And getting tested is really not a very big deal in most places around the world. Heck, over here they include whole panels of liver function, cholesterol, etc. just for the sake of it because they have some blood anyway. And you know what? It feels good to know that they make a habit of testing so many things that are easy to check, just in case it might pick up an illness early on so it can be treated before it becomes a problem.

Why should STIs be any different? ... In most cases the consequences of an STI can be dramatically reduced if it is found earlier. And if you come up clean, all the better!

In my perfect world, everyone would routinely get checks for STIs. Start kids before they become sexually active so that it becomes a natural habit in later life. Send out little reminder notices when the last check-up has been more than six months. And heck, why not,... check liver function and cholesterol, etc. while we are at it.

If the worst that could happen is we all become a bit more mindful of our health, then I'd say it's an easy win. And it feels absolutely fantastic to walk out of the doctors office with physical proof that you are all shiny and clean.

And if you worry about what to tell the doctor; just say nothing, it is none of their business. But if you feel the need to, make up a little white lie: "My (partner's) condom broke last week, I just want to make sure I didn't catch anything".

Oh, and if you decide to go get checked... ask the doctor to check your blood pressure too. Statistics suggest that about 20-30% of you will thank me for it afterwards.

Now go attack some more of that turkey, and relax with your family. The doctors won't be back till after the weekend anyway.

The Thirteenth Day of Xmas Countdown

Due to a small clerical error twelve days only got us up to Thursday, so here for your entertainment is one more bonus day of XMAS Countdown-ing. This one is of course a slam-dunk...

For the Thirteenth Day of this countdown we'd like Thirteen...

Or Olivia Wilde, if you will. I'd have chosen a picture showing a bit more body, but I know how Annabelle likes cowboys, so this seemed more appropriate. She's just gorgeous in all kinds of ways.

So, for the twelve days of XMAS we had:

1. Lelo Sex Toy
2. Pieces of Liberator Sex Furniture
3. People Fucking
4. Different Hair Colours
5. Packs of Candy
6. Tenga Eggs
7. Sets of Underwear
8. Sexy Holidays
9. Belly Dancers
10. New Positions
11. One-on-One Time
12. Delicious Cookies

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to all our readers... enjoy the turkey and the presents, but try to enjoy each other even more.

- Arthur & Annabelle.

The Twelfth Day of Xmas Countdown & HNT

Twelve is such a foodie number. Twelve eggs in a box. Twelve bread rolls. Twelve tasty little cookies baking away in the oven. Yes, right this very minute the house is warm from the oven and smells rather like gingerbread.

It almost didn't. It almost smelled like store-bought slice-your-own-dough cookies. I'm not even sure how I ended up with it but for the last few weeks this rather large cookie knob (is that what you'd call it?) has been taking up space in my fridge. What with time fast running out and patience for all things festive starting to wear thin, I almost gave in. Almost.

There was just something about it that felt so... plastic.

There are now four dozen golden syrup spiced cookies cooling on various racks around my kitchen and the *ahem* knob is back in the fridge, just in case I am ever in need of a fresh(ish) cookie at short notice.

The Eleventh Day of Xmas Countdown

I am having trouble being greedy. Eleven of anything seems a bit excessive really. Maybe eleven chocolate coated strawberries would be alright, or eleven chirpy birds begging for toast, or maybe even eleven beautiful flowers... It still all seems too much. Then I thought of a way to be greedy without asking for a lot of extra stuff.

One-on-one time.

See how I was clever there? I took the two numerals in the number 11 and like, yeah... Anyway, my genius aside, it sounds like a good plan to me. This year has been great but also incredibly busy and full of so many new things that our quality alone time has had to take a bit of a back seat at times. It isn't a bad thing, it is just the way it is with life and living and all. The point is that it is important to practice how to hold hands, how to talk about the fun stuff and the difficult stuff, and how to be together and not just in the same room.

It is a bit of a soppy thing, kind of like the relationship equivalent of a pair of socks. Actually, that isn't a bad description. Yes. I think that works.

I want relationship socks. Stripey ones.

The Tenth Day of Xmas Countdown

Before I begin; the bulk of this post is actually below the fold (click through to get the juicy bits), because there are some fairly explicit cartoons of sexual positions involved.

For the tenth day of XMAS, I'd like these relatively novel (to me) positions thankyou Santa. I found them all on www.sexinfo101.com ... A quick disclaimer, I can give no judgment on how accurate or useful the information on that site as a whole is. I just embedded ten of their animations.

Also, I'm fairly certain I'd personally enjoy these positions, but I'd love to hear from any of our female readers whether they have tried any of these, and whether they are any good for the female partner? Feel free to leave anonymous comments if you don't want your (nick)name on a sex blog.

And now... below the fold... the 10 positions I have selected...

The Ninth Day of Xmas Countdown

I don't know what it is, but dancers facinate me. It is something about the rhythm, the way they move, the way they can control every little muscle... It isn't always sexy but it is an amazing show of the human body.

My favourite would have to be belly dancing, partially for the awesome costumery and partly because it is almost always accompanied by rhythmic drumming that just races up and down my spine and settles deep in my abdomen. It is all about the show, the skill, the story and the tease.

I remember once seeing a performancy by a stunning woman, dancing in bare feet but walking as though in heels, leading a short, balding middle-aged man around the dance floor. He followed her like one would follow a vision, drumming out his passion as she stomped and twirled and shimmied around in front of him, letting him come close enough to admire her and then flying away in a flurry of scarf and sequins only to repeat the whole game seconds later. It was mesmerising.

I want to watch dancers. I want to feel the drums. I want to be teased.

The Eigth Day of Xmas Countdown

Holidays are always fun. Sexy holidays are even better. So here are my 8 favorite destinations to go to with Annabelle... some may even be Unicorn-friendly.

Australian Destinations

Hobart, Tasmania (map)

On the island of Tasmania, on a river, nestled between the surrounding mountains, overlooking the harbor on the Tasman Sea. Do I need to add any further reason?

Clare Valley, South Australia (map)

This place feels like traveling a century back into time. Old cottages in the hills among the vineyards. Would they have milk maids, you think?

Gold Coast, Queensland (map)

Sun, Sand, Sea... And lots of scantily clad people along the beach.

Snowy Mountains, New South Wales (map)

Because there is just something about icy cold snow outside, while sitting nestled in a cottage with an open fire.

International Destinations

New York, USA (map)

As much as the airport scanners and fingerpriting at the borders make me never want to go to the USA; the place that might just tempt me is New York.

Rio de Janeiro, Brasil (map)

Carnival in Rio. Known for its revealing costumes. Just need to learn the language... or at least the most important phrases.

Toronto, Canada (map)

Canadians are possibly the most polite people on the planet. Would love to test that theory in person. And apparently they are quite attractive too.

Stockholm, Sweden (map)

And finally, Stockholm... again for the people. Swedes. I don't think I need to add anything more.

The Seventh Day of Xmas Countdown

Seven things. One for every day of the week. What else could I possibly want but sexy sexy underwear?

I've spent way too much time shopping this week, and way too much time loitering around bras and knickers, hoping that some might cry out to be rescued from their hum-drum life on the rack.

My favourite set so far has been a pink, grey & white set by Davenport. I do like fancy underwear, but there is something about matte fabrics and lack-of-lace that makes it so so much better.

Did I mention they are y-fronts? Sexy much!? Seriously, seven sets of sexy undergarments. Matching. One set for every day of the week.

The Sixth Day of Xmas Countdown

I was trying to figure out what to get six of. What comes in sixes? Half a dozen eggs! That's it! Tenga Eggs!

Tenga Eggs - Male masturbation sex toy

I don't own any of these, and I haven't quite convinced myself yet that I should try one. And if so, which one to try? Wavy? Clicker? Spider? ... Twister? Stepper? Silky? ... Donner, Blitzen,... sorry, that's something else.

I did see these when we were at SexPo this year. I squished the samples with my fingers. The sensation definitely had a compelling quality about it. Maybe this will be my next purchase. Maybe I'll get addicted.

Maybe... Santa?

The Fifth Day of Xmas Countdown & HNT

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love went-to-the-shop-and-bought-for-meee
Fiiiive packets of Starbursts!

Don't I look pretty in them?

I'm a big fan of lollies for any occasion. Years ago I had an entire desk drawer full of the things. Now Arthur and I have a large glass candy bowl filled with little wrapped treats. I personally think I make a much better place to eat treats from.

If anyone is curious, the light pink ones are my favourite.

The Fourth Day of Xmas Countdown

On the fourth day of Xmas... I'll have one of each please, thanks. I'm feeling greedy this year.

Image via Art-or-Porn

One sultry blond-haired girl.

Image via Art-or-Porn

One nerdy brown-haired girl.

Image via Art-or-Porn

One exotic black-haired girl.

Image via Art-or-Porn

One playful red-haired girl.

Stereotypes aside, that'd be an awesome present for any discerning adult this season. Oh, and I guess it might be worth throwing in a big bottle of good quality lube for good measure. A good party can cause unwanted dryness.

The Third Day of Xmas Countdown

I'm sure there is some rule that says the third day must be the day to ask for a threesome. Or ask for another threesome. Or maybe ask for several threesomes.

Image via Art-Or-Porn

A year ago, I'd have gone and hidden under the bed and wailed uncontrollably at the thought. I'd have been angry and hurt and scared about what the whole thing said about me. I'm not entirely sure when that changed to me jumping around on the bed eagerly trying to see everything and be everywhere, but it did, and I'm bloody pleased about it.

I think, if you are thinking about it, think about it some more. Think about how you'd let it happen. Think about the little things that could lead up to it, like touching a leg, or playing with hair, or maybe just holding hands. Small, bite-sized threesome-ish chunks :) Enjoy the journey and have fun with it.

So yes, ask for a threesome. :)

The Second Day of Xmas Countdown

One day late, but let's say nobody noticed. On the upside, this means a double dose today.

I have a thing for Liberator. I don't own any of there stuff, but I really would like to. Especially the items that are sufficiently discreet that only those "in the know" would know to recognise them on sight.

Picking an item is a tough call... I love the black label bondage Esse... but for a special holiday kinda mood, the Zeppelin is just so much more fitting.

This also goes perfectly with the post most of you out there seem to enjoy the most; the fantasy story Movie Night. I can just imagine piling onto the Zeppelin at the start of movie night and rapidly losing track of the plot.

I better go get a bigger chimney, or Santa will never be able to get this into our place.

The First Day of Xmas Countdown

So the big day is almost upon us, and we are fast running out of shopping days. Im the spirit of the season, being excessive consumerism, I'm counting down the days with the most awesome sexy gifts of the season.

For the first day of Xmas I think we have to start with the  Lelo Alia

Who can say no to a buzztoy? I mean, even the pink glittery numbers have some serious play appeal but when it looks as classy as this little number then it becomes twice as tricky. We saw pieces from the Lelo Insignia range at Sexpo this year but sadly they were just a tease, not available for sale. It is a pity because these new toys seem to have a more rumbly vibration than their predecessors, which suits my body much better. Add to that, it has a grabby hole so that lube-facilitated launches are far less likely to occur.

Also, did I mention it is totally cute?

Mixed Up Ethics

I'm a little dismayed by the whole situation surrounding Wikileaks and Assange. Not for any political or ideological reasons, but by the sheer number of unrelated issues that are all being conflated by almost everyone that touches the subject. I'm not even going to claim I have a clear understanding of all the legal issues that may or may not be involved.

But a large portion of the discussion seems to revolve around what kind of crime by Swedish law Assange may have actually committed. The fact that depending on whose blog I read it is either rape, or continuing consensual intercourse after a condom was requested, or a condom that broke and a refusal to get an HIV test afterwards, makes me wonder how there can be this much confusion over something as fundamental as what he is being accused of. And then there is the slightly silly sounding term "sex by surprise" that gets bandied about.

I shudder to think what kind of damage all this is doing to the fight against rape when people start casually bucketing all this stuff together like it is all the same. Wrong is wrong, but not everything is equally wrong.

Domestic abuse and rape are actual serious crimes where people get physically hurt against their will. It deeply scars people emotionally and I suspect in many cases changes them. Even then I'm sure there are gradations of seriousness involved, but I think we can all safely agree that this clears a minimal level of "worthy of punishment".

On the other end of the spectrum, consensual sex should in most cases imply that all parties are completely in the clear. Nobody is holding guns to heads, and walking away is always an option. Granted, it can be difficult once hormones are raging, and I'd say conditioning can for some make it impossible to see that they have a choice. But fundamentally, once everyone makes the informed decision to proceed with whatever is going on, that should be okay.

Getting someone drunk, or talking them into sex fall somewhere in the tricky middle. Where the context and circumstances have a big impact on which way a thing leans. A jest and a tease and then giving in is probably okay. A refusal and intimidation and then giving in is definitely wrong. But the point is... I couldn't just make that call for a concrete case just on the face of it. I'd need to know a lot more about what actually happened.

And I just don't think anyone knows all that much about what Assange is accused of exactly. Or how the Swedish legal definitions work precisely. Or what kind of legal recourse might be involved.

All I know is that we're mucking up our morals by mixing all of the possibilities together like it's just one big cocktail of equal wrongs.

HNT - Painting With Annabelle

We have been so busy. Christmas is fast approaching and, although we aren't sold on the whole religious side of the holiday, we do seem to get into the friends and family part of things. There is a stack of gifts on our dining room table, a pile of cards to be written to our relatives, and a bunch of empty tins waiting for me to get around to filling them with edible treats. We don't go all out, but we do go further than the fast-becoming-standard bulk text message.

This evening I've been busy busy busy making some gifts and at the end of it all I was rather pleased to find myself with a Pringles lid half full of green paint. Perfect for a quick spot of body painting.

Cute, no? It meant a late night shower and some serious scrubbing, and I expect I'll have green belly button lint for the forseeable future, but yeah, it was worth it. If you've never played with paint, you really should try it. It feels pretty damn amazing!

All I Want for Christmas...

The holiday season is rapidly approaching. I already get tired thinking of it... then again, I kinda was exhausted today regardless, so maybe the two are not really directly related.

My first wish for this year is that I won't slip too badly off my self-imposed writing schedule. So far it has come fairly effortlessly, but I know how run-down and overwhelmed I tend to feel by the time I'm stuck between Christmas and New Years' Eve.

If I fail to keep it up all the way through I'll throw some women your way to keep you entertained in my stead. It seems a fair enough trade. But I will do my best to give you my personal attention.

Now, in the lead-up to Christmas I think we are embarking on a series of posts detailing our sexy sexy wishes for this year or season. With a bit of luck this in itself will lead to further story material.

And now... I must rest... recharge... get ready to sprint through.

Hot on the Web - Singles

I feel like a holiday. I really feel like a holiday. Holidays in places with hotels. Rooms in hotels with beds with white sheets. With sleeping-in, late in the morning. With sheets all messy about. All spread out and crumpled.

Image via Art-or-Porn

This looks very much like I'd imagine it would be like. Too lazy to move. Inviting after a day at the beach... Or just out of the shower perhaps.

And then walking out of the shower myself, walk up to the bed, stand over her, climb on top. Pressing muscles into curves. Touching curves with arms and legs. Pressing hips into ass. Grinding.

I really feel like a holiday.

A Couple of Thoughts

The world has not stopped spinning. Realistically I knew it would continue to twirl around regardless of what I was up to, but I small part of me was worried that somehow this little deviation from the norm would cause chaos and carnage. It hasn't and, judging by how stupidly normal this 'unacceptable' behaviour feels, I feel pretty safe saying that it won't.

There are still times when I worry. There are days when I walk down the street and I'm certain that I have a flashing neon "threesome" sign hanging above my head. I'm sure that everyone can tell. I imagine there will be a knock at the door and two burly policemen will drag us away in chains for vandalising traditional relationships. I keep thinking that all the delightful polite people I pass on the street are secretly hissing and whispering horrible things about us behind our backs.

Realistically I know that nobody really cares that much about what goes on in our bedroom. I also know that I don't care much if they do. Sometimes it is hard to filter out all of life's noise and remember those things.

I've always been a bit of a goody two shoes. I've always tried to do the right thing, played by the rulebook, been a good little girl. This is who I am. Except in this case it isn't, and that is a big scary thing. A wonderful big scary thing.

Once Bitten...

A certain acquaintance of ours, whose name may perchance start with "D" and end in "elilah" has rather nippy teeth. She likes biting, and I like pretending that it doesn't sting as much as it does. Bad combination.

I've had marks on my chest before several times, and I thought they were quite remarkable at the time. I realise now that she was only just warming up.

Imagine my surprise at this developing on my bicep. Especially since I keep forgetting it is there.

I have now been to the gym several times with this remarkable mark showing. I do not wear more than a Bonds singlet, so nothing stands between my bruise and the inquisitive eyes of my fellow gym-goers. So far nobody has remarked on it yet to me, but I'm keeping my hopes up.

It definitely is a potential conversation starter.

Busy Day Ahead

Tomorrow is going to be a rather busy day. And not in the nice "I never made it out of bed" kinda way. But I guess they can't all be like that, hey?

My Saturday schedule goes somewhat as follows:

• 7:30 - Wake up and have a quick shower, then head to the gym where I will torture myself with a Pilates class and some Yoga.
• 10:30 - Along the way home swing by the shops to grab some bread and morning coffees for all and sundry.
• 11:15 - Fight off the dog as he tries to bring me something when I walk in the door.
• 11:18 - Put a cup of coffee down for Annabelle, and try to gently wake Delilah without startling her; possibly handing her a cup of coffee if she ordered one.
• 11:25 - Make some toast for anyone that wants it, then have "breakfast" together.
• 12:00 - Head to the station to make it into the city, where I attempt to find some more presents for family with our shopping list in hand.
• 15:45 - Walk into the salon where they will be shooting lasers at my face again to remove the final bits of useless hair there.
• 16:00 - Get shot at with lasers.
• 16:05 - Wince.
• 16:15 - Sit with a soothing towel and some lotion to relax.
• 16:20 - Walk back to the station to head home to Annabelle, some TV, and hopefully a book from my stack of unread materials.

Luckily I think Sunday is completely clear so far. Haven't seen Brandi for a while. Maybe she'll drop by for a visit?

As long as I don't have to do anything else, I'm fine with whatever happens to me though.

HNT - Dot to Dot

Arthur has something odd going on with his thigh. It involves red spots. They are angry little things that, having been here for the last 6 weeks, look kind of like they are here for the forseeable future.

I do not like them.

I want them gone.

I decided that their sticking around might be due to the lack of public transportation options available on Arthur's Thigh so I decided to help out. I drew them a boat.

Hopefully that'll help them float away.

Two Stories that Don't Sound Quite Right

The last few days I came across two totally unrelated stories online that left me with an uncomfortable feeling in my head. One of pirates and family entertainment, the other of social networking.

The first one you probably heard about already, but in case you haven't here is a quick reference to the story in the Sydney Morning Herald about the Johnny Depp interview regarding his role in Pirates of the Caribbean. He reveals that Disney executives were uncomfortable with his portrayal of Jack Sparrow, leading one female executive to wonder aloud if his character was "meant to be gay?".

Props to Depp for his excellent come-back:

"But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?" Which really made her nervous.

But at the same time it makes me kinda sad that in the context of their not liking the character, and fearing a movie flop it apparently was acceptable to intimate that the character being gay was in some way relevant.

I have no problem with an executive decision that the character was too distracting. That they wanted a more traditional pirate caper. And they probably would have lost Depp at that point. And it probably wouldn't have made them as much money as it has. But that's a directorial and casting decision. On an ethical level, bringing "gay" into it as a factor is just as wrong as refusing to hire someone on grounds of being gay.

Second story is of someone that has been reporting on Diaspora. They commented in some detail about a change made to the gender selection system in this not-quite-(yet?)-a-Facebook-alternative. Apparently the decision was made to change gender selection from a drop-down box to a free-form text entry box.

As an IT professional I can fully sympathise with the technical aspects of the problem escribed. And there is actually a valid point in the end. But by getting there in a rather circuitous fashion the story skirts on the edges of misunderstanding why for some people gender identity is a lot more complicated than a selection of physical gender.

The valid point is that preferred pronoun selection for automated system-generated messages needs to be drop-down, because the system cannot create the required derivatives (she / her / hers) automatically from just whatever someone might type in a text field. That's a very pragmatic programming issue, which could be addressed by allowing a reasonable finite set of options with at least one non-gender-specific option (them / their / theirs).

Where this argument probably loses everyone is when the discussion veers into equating gender identity with grammar; as if there is a straightforward relationship that fits people into a finite sets of single words.

I guess the common theme for this week is careless expression in a sexually diverse world. We can't always get it perfectly right, but we might at least try not to get it so blatantly and casually wrong.

Its Not Easy Being Green

Find a picture of a sexy man and post it. It seemed like a really simple idea to me. Try and add a bit more male eye candy to our little website. Hot men are everywhere and it stood to reason that a quick google would do the trick.

Maybe I'm more fussy about men than I thought. I used the most basic search terms I could think of too, nothing too specific about body type, ethnicity, outfit, or age. You know what I got? An awful lot of young, bored-looking men stroking monster cocks, a plate of spaghetti, a red eared slider, and a picture of PVC drainpiping. I have to say I was a little frustrated at the lack of interesting pics of naked men. I was really looking forward to some sexy torso adorning this post.

Luckily, with a bit more searching I found a wonderful picture of a man with a great torso. Ok, so it isn't perfect. He's a little bit green and considerably shorter than what I normally like, but I'm certainly not complaining.

Image via Macro Porn

It kind of brings new meaning to the term butt play. :)